Seriously, the black cloud is still lingering. I am trying to appreciate it, get to know it. Maybe invite it in for coffee.... (although, I had to have brown sugar in my coffee this morning because we are totally out of sugar, so maybe that is not the best thing). On Sunday I had a monumental wipeout! Seriously, couldn't walk, almost passed out, ready to puke. I was heading up to a practice transition and could not get my shoes out of the clips on the pedals. Could not, I mean totally stuck. I may have well performed a tap dance. So there I am right behind my car not even going fast and I just fall to the ground. FUNNY RIGHT! The only bad part was that in the middle of the fall the handlebars twisted so one handlebar hit the ground, the other handlebar hit my chest. All my body took the fall on that one handlebar. To say it was awful is an understatement. I would put a picture up here of the bruising but it might be considered a little too graphic. Anyone I know I show and it definitely brings up some horrible noises and looks of horror.
So there I am driving home, crying hysterical, ready to give up. It is so not worth this, I am just going back to being Molly the beer drinker. (Molly the beer drinker is alot of fun). But, I am not a quitter, (sometimes I stop reading books before I get to the end, because I don't like the turn the book has taken - but I don't quit other things) I have worked hard for this, I am enjoying this, I just don't want it to consume me. I start to think that perhaps the black cloud started right around the time I started my training, coincidence? I don't know.
So I am a mile from home, I have calmed myself down. My sadness has turned to frustration and anger. Frustration and anger because I didn't get to do the run part and I wasted all that time driving down there and now I can't finish the workout and I pass a church that always has great saying on their board outside.
"The will of God will never lead you where the grace of God could not keep you."
I can do this. I may have to walk the run since the impact of the crash has caused alot of soreness in my upper body and it hurts to even walk upstairs right now let alone run. I haven't gotten back up on the bike, I am waiting until my doctor gives me the ok tomorrow. I tried swimming and while it hurt, I am sure it will feel better in a few days. Took the bike to the shop to have them adjust the foot clips, and make sure I didn't break the bike. All clear there.
I just have to keep motoring away at this. It is not easy, but I am doing my best.
6 comments:
just goes to show how kick-ass you are. major bruising? swelling? handle bar blunt into the chest? -- and still at it!!
i have never used clip-ins (duh because i don't even have a real bicycle, and the only thing mine is for is to transport me to the local watering holes), but i think they seem scary. you're very brave! and such an amazing example for the girls!
i hope you get a green light from the doc and heal up quickly.
as for the cloud, hmm, maybe after coffee with brown sugar it will run away?
dude, you will heal quickly and kick this triathlon in the ass! i am with devon and refuse to get clips on my bike b/c i envision myself in your exact position. i've known you for such a long time and you are one of the strongest (emotionally and physically) people that i know. you'll be awesome, wait no, you ARE awesome. maybe sleep in your clothes tonight just for the heck of it.
Handle bar to the chest? Are you kidding me! The many ways you amaze me just continue to become more and more monumental.
Hell, yeah Beer-Drinkin'-Molly is fun, but she isn't gone...She's just busy kickin' a little ass right now.
Molly the beer drinker can come out to celebrate after Molly the triathlete kicks ass. You can do this!!!
man are you ever one tough cookie! I think that is what it takes to kick ass in a triathalon after all. It wouldn't make you look near as tough and hard core if you didn't have some sort of 'badge of honour' bruise anyways.
your girls must think it's pretty cool that their momma is superwoman! Maybe put them to bed when Beer-Drinking-Molly comes to join in the afterparty though... you are AMAZING!
oh my gosh, molly, you are a rock star. i bet the girls are so proud of you for doing this, such an amazing mom! i hope you heal soon and remember "battle wounds" are cool.
p.s.clip-ins scare me too
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